Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ Mad “Talking” Skills

Nov 28, 2023

Any NCIS fans out there?

Me and Tiffany are rewatching in hopes of making it past season 13 this time around.

On a recent episode, Abby was not her usual sparkly self. She was visibly depressed, in a bad mood, and didn’t wanna talk to anyone. I’ve been there a few times too, not a fun place.


Gibbs, not one to miss an opportunity, came to see Abby for some info related to a case.

She did her usual spiel, after which Gibbs hung around awkwardly.

Abby said she wasn’t spilling the beans, no matter what he said.

So he said nothing.

And the beans got spilt.

She proceeds to talk for about two minutes straight. Gibbs can’t get a word in edgewise—doesn’t even try.

Once the problem’s off of her chest (which, btw, is that a short fellow she’s dating wants to break it off because she’s too tall and wears platform boots on top of that LOL), she gives Gibbs a huge hug.

“Ahh Gibbs, thank you. You always know what to say,” she declares.

Which was met, of course, with a smile from the silver fox.

When it comes to sales (and frankly, customer service too) we have a tendency to think more words are needed. We talk, and talk, and talk, sharing our life stories with no seeming end in sight. Here’s what you don’t realize, though: The more you do that, the more you’ve made the story about you. And heroes don’t like their plotlines being hijacked.

The more you listen, the more someone feels heard.

The more heard they feel, the more endeared they become.

The more endeared they become, the more they trust you.

And the more they trust you, the more likely they are to do business with you.

BTW — that formula is true in many areas of your life. It will work with your spouse or significant other, parents, children, employers, other business associates, and more.

Consider the opposite:

The more you talk, the more someone feels intimated.

The more intimidated they feel, the more insecure they get.

The more insecure they are around you, the less they trust you.

And the less they trust you, the less likely they are to do business with you.

See that?

Now, that doesn’t mean there are no times to talk.

After all, I am the one talking right now. There’s a time for exhortation, encouragement, even diatribes.

But certainly not when doing sales or customer service.

That is when less is more. The less you say, the more effective you are. Try it out.

And hey, speaking of trying it out, I’d love for you to join me in my mentorship program, SWD Insiders.

I’ll listen to your concerns or current struggles, help you plot a path forward, and then keep you accountable every single month.

Let’s do it: