The trench coat.

It is a staple of both English and American iconography representing secrets, mystery, disguise, intrigue, and even familiarity.

It simultaneously gives the vibe of “friendly” and “this dude knows stuff he’s not telling me.”

Yes, that’s right, you will amaze your clients and win all your sales presentations if, from now on, you show up wearing a trench coat.

Just kidding.

There is something here though.

Perhaps you’ve heard of the TV detective, Lieutenant Columbo. One of the greatest men to don the iconic trench coat who ever lived. 

Whether you have or have not, I implore you to take 8 short minutes out of your busy day and watch this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__FSRRGdPN0

Why?

Because if you do, you will learn one of the greatest negotiating techniques you could ever learn in business. I’m not kidding. Don’t worry, I’m getting ready to explain it to you too. But you have to see it in action to really understand its power.

Seriously, watch. Right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__FSRRGdPN0

Take particular note of how he speaks softly, asks questions, asks for the time, acts a bit bumbling, etc. Especially the car scene. 

Detective Columbo is an unassuming figure.

He asks lots of questions.

He seems even a little annoying sometimes.

But he’s very, very good. And most of his suspects don’t even catch on to what he’s doing. He’s always in control, even when it seems like he isn’t.

In fact, that’s the whole point.

He maintains control of the situation — every interaction — while making his suspects feel as though they are the ones in control. Many of them even think they’re going to get away with it.

Until he drops the bomb on them.

So, what is the secret? What is doing that has them eating out of the palm of his hand?

Simply this: He’s “unokay”.

I know that’s bad English. But it’s also the truth.

This “unokayness,” an expression gleaned from the work of fierce negotiation expert the late Jim Camp, is one of the biggest secrets to winning a deal or any specific encounter. And this is not rocket science. It could be as simple as asking lots of questions, dropping a pen, or just appearing a bit needy or forgetful. There’s lots of ways to actually use this.

Here’s why it works.

As long as you are perfectly okay, you are a threat. And when people are scared, they go into self-preservation mode QUICK.

Not only that, but negotiating out of a position of fear is not wise.

When someone’s defenses are up they are the farthest thing from reasonable.

But when you say. “No—don’t worry—you’re actually more okay than me,” it has them thinking they are the ones in a position of strength. You are comfortable. Collected. Calm. And if anyone’s going to “win” the negotiation, it will be them.

At least, that’s what they think.

Now — you may be tempted to think this is manipulative.

Yes, and no.

It’s manipulative in the sense that you are approaching a conversation with intelligence. You are unashamedly seeking a certain result and aiming to structure the interaction in such a way as to make the result more likely to be in your favor.

(If you’re not doing this, you will not be in business very long.)

The mistake is thinking that this “ethical manipulation” is morally repugnant or inconsistent with having the other person’s best interests at heart.

If you are selling them something they do not need, and trying to “convince them” through manipulation tactics, then you are right. You should close up shop right now.

If however, you are utterly convinced that you are selling them the solution they need—the best thing for them—then there is nothing wrong with this at all.

You are simply using the tools of human communication to help them understand what they need, why they need it, and why they should buy it today.

More:

I actually think this “spirit of unokayness” is morally good and wise.

Wouldn’t the opposite of this attitude amount to pride and intimidation?

Puffing yourself up to make you look better than the other party?

Talking down to them as if you are the “expert” and they’re a mere peon?

This is not the way.

In order to gain trust you have to be trustworthy.

And we too often think of trustworthiness in terms of “knowledge.”

Really, that’s hardly on the radar.

(After all, let’s be real — it’s not like you need to know a ton in order to know more than your potential clients about web and marketing stuff, right?)

No, it’s not about knowledge.

Trustworthiness is about demeanor and character. Endearment.

And almost nothing will endear an audience faster than unokayness.

Just a little more, with a real close-to-home example:

Yesterday, I sent you an email titled: “I’m not in the mood to write. So here I am, writing.”

I literally did not want to write that email. It was not a joke.

But I wrote it anyway.

And I know for a fact because of some kind messages I received that it endeared me to at least a few of you.

So, was it manipulative or unethical for me to do that?

I don’t think so.

I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad for me. I wish I hadn’t had to write that email.

But it would be FAKE and arguably unethical to just send another email full of tips and pretend like I’m some superhuman.

Nope, regular human here. Good days and bad days. Just like you.

Sometimes, I’m not okay. Neither are you. Neither are your clients.

But if you will take the position of unokayness in your client’s place, they will feel safe. They will trust you.

And they will lower their guard, allowing you fertile ground within to plant the seeds of a successful interaction.

If you get stressed out or nervous about these conversations, let’s talk about them together during our group coaching calls.

Literally, on just our last call alone, here’s about half of the list of topics we covered:

• Jose explores a subscription-based web design model inspired by Steve and Adam’s insights.
• Jose plans a customizable, fee-free subscription model, focusing on five healthcare specialties.
• Ethical considerations of website ownership post-subscription are discussed.
• Victor shares gratitude for the group’s guidance on the subscription web design journey.
• SEO’s role is touched upon, with Steve emphasizing streamlined design services.
• The group reflects on lifestyle agency success, valuing freedom over relentless growth.
• Strategies like a waitlist, pricing adjustments, and niche expertise are considered.
• Concerns about industry commoditization and the importance of a personality-based business arise.
• YouTube as a traffic driver, tiered service offerings, and licensing content are discussed.
• Ethical considerations and the importance of knowing one’s limitations are discussed.
• Victor receives support for prioritizing web design over overwhelming marketing efforts.

Seriously. Half.

These calls are “where the magic really happens” in the group coaching program. We can tackle exactly what you need help with in the moment, including how you show up in sales interactions.

Oh, and of course, you can watch or listen to EVERY past call we’ve ever had so you don’t miss these insights.

Here’s the link to get started:

https://subscriptionwebdesign.com/get-swd

As an entrepreneur, I deal with an existential struggle.

It’s weighing on me particularly hard, given a few factors:

• I’m not getting any younger
• Neither are my kids
• The holidays are approaching, which makes me more naturally reflective

And probably more.

That struggle is the idea of, in some sense, “changing the world.” I’m a big dreamer with a lot of goals. There’s lots I want to do. At the same time, I want to be a lifestyle business owner. Not beholden to an office or the mental stresses that come along with the spotlight and running a large operation.

Some of us—maybe you?—have an obsession with changing the world.

So what’s an entrepreneur who wants to change the world to do, with so many priorities that are seemingly in conflict?

Recently, I’ve begun to think in terms of changing somebody’s world.

Can I change even one person’s world?

I think there are probably a few people who would say, and all glory to God, that something I’ve shown them or taught them has changed their world for the better.

At least a little.

In a sense, what more could you ask for?

Here’s the kicker. I don’t think that means you’ve “arrived” and now you quit.

The opposite, in fact. I think it means you press forward knowing that you are making progress towards your goals, living the lifestyle you want, and making a meaningful impact on somebody’s life.

Maybe “having it all” is the exact opposite of how most people define it.

Now perhaps you don’t struggle with this in your business. Perhaps it’s enough for you to have a few clients on recurring revenue that pay your bills and give you some extra spending money.

There is nothing wrong with that at all.

For those of you who do have larger aspirations, though, those are worth pursuing. But be careful. The pursuit itself matters. And you can either choose to live with crippling anxiety as you work toward those goals or live in peace, knowing you’re changing somebody’s world a little bit every day, while still being there for your family and achieving personal satisfaction.

For a while, entrepreneurship wasn’t cool.

About 10-15 years ago, though, that started changing. It became super cool. And now everyone is an expert on how to be one, haha.

That creates tremendous amounts of pressure, imposter syndrome, comparison traps, etc.

Don’t fall into those.

Stay in your lane. Set reasonable milestones. Enjoy the journey.

And if you want to journey alongside a growing number of passionate web designers/agency owners just like you and build recurring revenue so you can finally get out of those feast or famine cycles, here’s where to find us:

https://subscriptionwebdesign.com/get-swd 

Comes an archetypal question I receive a version of all the time:

How do I actually get clients?

There’s an unusual problem with this question.

It has too many answers.

Some of them bad; most of them good.

The real question is, what should you do to get clients?

Now even that has too many answers, but at least gets us closer.

On the latest episode of the podcast, I explored this question from a strategy point of view instead of tactics. Tactics are great—but only within the context of a larger strategy or game plan.

In this episode, we talk about “direct response” marketing.

Most web designers aren’t really doing this kind of marketing at all, which means you have a tremendous opportunity to stand out.

A fair warning, though: It’s a rabbit hole. There’s a lot of layers to it. And many tactics that work.

So, to help you out, I give you sort of a “101” approach I call the master flywheel.

You can use that to get started.

Then, once you have the basics down, move on from there.

I hope you find this to be helpful!

Click here to watch on YouTube now.

In a world where every video has 730 jump cuts, my videos are primarily talking head.

The microphone even covers my face a little bit (which apparently annoys some people).

Most video “professionals” would have a heyday critiquing my channel — at least I have a halfway decent background, but that’s about it.

Thing is, this is not an accident.

I do this on purpose.

And my reasons for doing so, I hope, will give you permission to do whatever it is YOU are holding back on. We’re all holding back on something.

So, here goes.

Reason 1 — Otherworldliness

I hinted at this concept that I’m learning from Ben Settle in my last email. To be honest, I didn’t know I was doing this, but now that I have this concept in my tool belt, it’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

I stand out right now — and people have said as much — in part because of my video presentation.

People have thanked me for being real, genuine, and authentic.

Now—I try to be those things, for sure, but I don’t think these comments are just a personality thing. I think the videos themselves come across as being real and down to earth, when everyone else’s look overproduced and fabricated.

Not everyone will agree. But the people in my tribe, for the most part, will.

Reason 2 – Preference

Personally, those videos with 730 jump cuts annoy the snot out of me!

I hate watching them. And I don’t want to create something I would hate watching. I love videos where I can follow along with what the person is doing and catch the flow of conversation.

When the conversation is interrupted by jump cuts, I get annoyed.

Now I know there’s a balance. In business, sometimes, you have to do things the consumer’s way.

But in my experience, I’ve never regretted staying true to myself and taking what I felt was the right path. Your gut matters.

You don’t have to be on YouTube Shorts or Facebook Reels just because everyone and their 5th cousin is too.

Here’s a hot take:

I think writers have a tremendous opportunity right now.

Obviously, short form video is not a fad. It’s hear to stay for a long time.

But sometimes people want thoughtful, written communication. The writers, ultimately, are the ones who change society over time. They are thinkers. Their ideas are the ones that last.

So if you’re a writer thinking you can’t market or communicate in today’s business landscape, I want to challenge that assumption!

Writing on Twitter and LinkedIn is working for many of my colleagues right now. It’s worth a shot!

The lesson of all this:

Don’t be held back by what OTHER people think you should do.

This is your life and your business. You make the call. Show up in the most genuine and honest way for YOU – and you will see success.

The fastest way to failure is not being yourself. You’ll lose every time, in more ways than one.

Of course, what we’re really talking about here is marketing.

And as you might imagine, marketing ideas come up a LOT in our member calls. There are some in the success path, but the real gold nuggets are found in the conversations we have.

Join us today and you can watch the entire backlog of member call videos, engage in the community, watch the success path videos, and more.

Here’s the link:

https://subscriptionwebdesign.com/get-swd 

Yesterday I was reading a paid marketing newsletter that I receive by mail every month.

The writer is a rather ghoulish figure named Ben Settle with a fairly interesting personality, and the concept he was teaching on is the idea of “otherworldliness.”

It opened with a cool quote from the lead singer of heavy metal band Motörhead:

People don’t want to see the guy next door on stage; they want to see a being from another planet.

That depends, of course, on who you are.

While there’s definitely truth to that, I think the more “human” and “relatable” you come across, the better in many cases.

I digress.

As I was reading, I noticed something about how Ben was teaching that this concept be implemented. He didn’t even outright say it. You could just feel it in his writing. This concept of “otherworldliness” was not something that I was going to be able to just sit down and apply.

I would have to learn it by simply absorbing it and remembering, while I’m writing or putting together podcast episodes, that it’s something I need to consider.

That’s when I put my finger on it—the hidden skill almost nobody talks about is osmosis.

(Anyone ELSE thinking of the little bearded blue dude? Just me?)

Osmosis is “the process of gradual or unconscious assimilation of ideas, knowledge, etc.” according to the interwebs.

You literally become transformed from the inside out, the more you consume and put into practice. It’s not always about “massive action” (a common marketing buzzword), but more about “consistent” action (a far less common marketing buzz word, due to its inherent unsexiness).

So the more you consistently apply your regular diet of information, the more you learn by osmosis and you become transformed by the process.

Pretty cool science lesson, right?

Anyway, the cool thing is, the more you’re exposed to certain ideas, the more the osmosis takes a hold.

That’s why I’m repetitive sometimes. It’s not necessarily more information you need. It’s more exposure to good information that has been curated and vetted by someone in the trenches.

You’ll get some good osmosis by listening to the Subscription Web Design Podcast. I really try to give you some tactical information there that you can start applying immediately.

Here’s where you can listen and get subscribed:

https://subscriptionwebdesign.com/podcast